The True Story of Tick, My New Friend

My dear, we are no longer friends. Because you, tick, are puny, blood sucking, selfish, and inconsiderate. Tick, you attach too easily. Your intimacy is shallow. Intrusive. One-sided. Persistent and demanding. Ick, tick. Ours was for me not a love affair of the desirable kind. Solace now, my former friend. Someone else will do worse to you than you did to me. But thanks for the memories.